she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
