i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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