I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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