Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
