Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
