Quick, to the slutcave!
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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