i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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