I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize