I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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