hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
