Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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