i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
