so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize