I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I can't turn off my feet"
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
