too bad you live with your parents still
i wish my penis had a tongue
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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