it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
