Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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