well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
