it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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