ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
