booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
do herpes really smell.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize