yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Randomize
