Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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