he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
