he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize