Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
