google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
