To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
