i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
