His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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