i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
