I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I just forgot I was standing up.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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