Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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