): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
