yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
