He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize