Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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