chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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