Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
