White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
