Where did you get a picture of my penis
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
