I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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