I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
