Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
