Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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