Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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