remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
