Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
