Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize