it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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