I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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