Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
