I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I want to be your penis for a week.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Holy sore nipples Batman
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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