So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
