Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
