Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
