Whod you bang
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
