All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize