what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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