you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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