If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
