it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
