how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
