cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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