His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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