found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
