i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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