Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
