Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
