worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
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