I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
