Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
