forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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