Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
