I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
