Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I fill condoms, not promises.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
