i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize