need another drink. this is the easiest way
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
