hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize