you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
